I’ve been pondering this question today and I don’t necessarily have an answer.
Testosterone creates some pretty interesting effects in mammals. More muscle, more aggression, more sex drive, more need for action. We have been sold a bill of goods that “real” men are gentle, kind, social. These are the opposite of our biology. The big T makes us want to dominate and conquer. It drives us to master ourselves, others and our world.
Testosterone causes us to be dismissive to any distraction to our goals. It causes us to be confident and self- assured of our path. It gives us boldness. It causes us to act first and not even consider the mess until later.
So what does it mean to be a man? It likely means living a violent life. Embracing violent living through embracing risk, confrontation, conquest. We become Princes because we take the Kingdom, not because we have it given to us.
But, as men and not a lower animal, we have also been given intellect. We can choose to work out our current desire for action by lifting heavy metal or running a marathon while we wait for our enemy, our obstacle, our opportunity to reach fruition. We can strategize our attack and apply the knife’s edge at exactly the right time in the softest flesh.
Even (and especially) sexual conquest comes from an application of both of these. Testosterone fuels the desire, but our desire is wrapped in strategy. We approach a woman, intending conquest, but first we talk, touch. We arouse her interest, then we withdraw. Do we want to withdraw? Of course not. We want to bed her, and the sooner the better.
Withdrawal assures her we must be superior to her. We can take her or leave her. She can’t abide not pursuing a man who is above her-even if he knows he is not. Her own biology dictates it as much as her hip to waist ratio grabbed our attention.
Testosterone plus intellect allows us to fake it until we make it. Both in sex and in every other area of life, that might just be the key. Goals. Strategy. Drive.
Feel free to leave your own thoughts below and feel free to question mine.